


Sleep Soundly

by fanfiction_fanfriction



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Cancer, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, M/M, major sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 02:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfiction_fanfriction/pseuds/fanfiction_fanfriction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray knew something was wrong when he first walked into the hospital but he never expected the words "stage four cancer" and "terminally ill" to come from the doctor's mouth and he didn't expect for his world and future to crash down on him like a million broken pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep Soundly

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this fan fiction, I'm sorry that it is not super long but I hope you do enjoy it and kudos and comments are welcomed :)

Ray knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the hospital, he could feel it. He didn’t expect for the words” stage four cancer” and “terminally ill” to come from the doctor’s mouth. He didn’t expect to be moved to the cancer ward and everything he ever was to become shattered in a single hour. Everything he ever wanted, his hopes and dreams, his future to be smashed into a million pieces right in front of his eyes.  
As soon as he was set for chemo and alone in the room Joel came barreling through, his expression no longer care free but tight with sadness and pain, the pain of loss; the pain of someone you love about to die.  
“Are you okay?” He asked weakly when he got close enough to the other man’s bed.  
Ray didn’t say anything, rather he just nodded because he wasn’t okay nor will he ever be okay ever again.  
Joel wrapped his arms around the younger man and the first time in a long time he just held the younger man and cried something he rarely does.  
Ray knew when he walked into the hospital something was wrong and he wished he never went to this place to begin with.  
Chemo started a week later, Ray shaved his head prior to it and said it was because “He didn’t want to see it come out bit by bit.”  
Joel helped him with this and to get the areas where he would’ve had trouble.  
Their relationship was still steady but there was a weight beginning to form on their shoulders, the weight of death and of loss, something that loomed over them and they couldn’t escape it.  
When it started Ray tried to act like everything was fine but when he started getting paler and thinner, he couldn’t keep it inside anymore. When Joel came inside the room with roses to surprise the younger man instead he get a surprise, seeing Ray curled up into a ball and sobbing, his frail body shaking with sobs and tears staining the hospital bed.  
Joel set the roses down and got on the bed next to the younger man as best as he could. He tried to get the Ray on his chest to help him calm down.  
“It’s okay Ray, Shh it’s okay.” Joel hushed as if Ray was a small child.  
“No it’s not Joel, it never will be. Why are you even here still, I’m dying! I’ll never get to be with you when you’re old and grey because I’ll be dead!” Ray shouted as another wave of tears washes over him.  
“I’m already old and grey.” Joel tried to joke hoping it will calm Ray down.  
Instead Ray just layed there and sobs violently. Joel did as best as he can with rubbing the younger man’s back trying to soothe him.  
“Sleep soundly Ray, you’re troubles with tomorrow are very far away, for now sleep soundly and tomorrow will bring new light. Do not let the darkness of night fear you for the stars will shine, they will shine for you. Sleep soundly Ray, please Ray. I’ll always be here, for now just sleep soundly and tomorrow will bright new light and I will be there with you in that light because in reality Ray you’re not alone, you never be alone little Ray because in a way, you’re my ray, my ray of goddamn sunshine.” Joel mumbled trying to sound as poetic as he possibly could.

The younger man started to calm down, his ragged breath turned soft and the violent shakes slowly became still.

Joel didn’t have all the answers but tonight didn’t matter and all that mattered right then was Ray.  
As a few months went by things didn’t get better and Ray’s sobs became worse and worse to the point where it would echo in Joel’s head and had to take time off work to be with Ray in his final months.  
He spent as much time as he could with Ray and telling him to sleep soundly and to not be afraid. He was never this soft but seeing his boyfriend slowly die made him soft and caring, to make sure Ray was okay meant much more to him now than it did before; having him close and safe became a safety blanket for Joel; safety from the end, the end of Ray.  
Ray’s body was now very frail to the point where Joel could easily pick him up and place him on his chest. Every night Joel would tell him that little poem and Ray would slowly fall asleep, the sound of breathing and the beeps of the machines that had been added to Ray’s room are the only things keeping Joel from crying out because for now Ray is still alive.  
When Ray was fully asleep Joel would slip out and go home, only to go into the shower and break down because even though he was still alive, soon those machines will stop their regular beeping and Ray’s breathing will stop and then Joel will be alone, without Ray’s laugh, smile, his anything; Joel will be alone in this world.  
One night when he went home, he felt a sudden anger rise in his and lost control of his self control and started smashing stuff around the apartment they once shared. None of it matter anymore, nothing mattered to him anymore. Joel laid in the middle of the apartment with things knocked over and broken around him.

“Why?” He mumbled before submerging himself in sleep.  
The final month came and Ray was barely hanging on, he looked dead but only a heartbeat was keeping him alive. No longer could Joel lie in the hospital bed with him because of all the tubes and IV’s in the younger man’s body.  
Joel would sit there and every night rub the younger man’s forehead and tell him that little poem until he fell asleep or the painkillers kicked in. That’d be the only time Joel would talk, he could barely form words now along with Ray, talking made him feel worse in a physical and emotional way.  
Another day went by and Joel would say those words but his voice breaking with every sentence until he found himself crying again; that’d be the last time Joel would cry with Ray being alive.  
The next day Joel got a call, a call that shattered his world and ended Ray’s. Ray was dead, he died in his sleep. When Joel left Ray died, the last thing Ray ever heard was Joel’s broken voice telling him to sleep soundly. Joel didn’t go to the hospital, he didn’t really do anything; he knew this was going to happen but Ray’s death blew a hole in him, he himself now felt dead.  
Joel only left his apartment to go to Ray’s funeral, no one talked to the broken man but let him speak first; he felt too broken to talk but he did it, he did it for Ray.  
He stood there on a cloudy day in front of everyone and said “I told Ray something a while back.” a pause “I made a crappy poem and I think if there’s a heaven he’d like to hear it one more time.” He took a deep breath and said “Sleep soundly Ray, you’re troubles with tomorrow are very far away, for now sleep soundly and tomorrow will bring new light. Do not let the darkness of night fear you for the stars will shine, they will shine for you. Sleep soundly Ray, please Ray. I’ll always be here, for now just sleep soundly and tomorrow will bright new light and I will be there with you in that light because in reality Ray you’re not alone, you never be alone little Ray because in a way, you’re my ray, my ray of goddamn sunshine.”

He looked up at everyone else and ended with “Now he is gone, my ray of sunshine is gone and now all my days are fucking cloudy days.”

His life, his heart and his Ray were nothing more than pieces of the past; Joel never felt so alone than he did the day he lost Ray and he could never sleep soundly ever again.


End file.
